My Magic Wand is Broken

A few poems from the admins and members of the FB group:


My magic wand is broken
So my advice to you
Is always put your shoes away
Or leave for dog to chew

My magic wand stopped working
I did warn that it might
So separate the dogs to eat
Unless you want a fight

My magic wand ain’t working
So when I give advice
Don’t reply with ‘yeah but’
It’s stressful and not nice

My magic wand is broken
But here’s a gift for you
The guides are full of magic
If you want to read them through

Magic wands just don’t exist
That really is a myth
So listen hard to free advice
And please don’t take the pyth

My magic wand is broken
Your dog is behaving like a nit
Read the correct guide
The solution will be in it!

My magic wand is broken
My bullies ears are off
What can I do to turn them on?

My dog does not love me
He refuses to bond
He’s torn up my sofa
Where’s my magic wand?

He wails, he’s a sinner
And always just hides
When I shout “Eat your dinner!!”
No, I’ve not read the guides

My magic wand is broken
It just sparks glittery fog
But who needs a magic wand
When I’ve got a magical dog

My magic wand is broken
I can’t give it a wave
To fix your pooch’s problem
You’ve just got to be brave

And tackle real training
And read the guides we said
There is no easy answer
To get inside his head

So ask us for our tips
And tell us what you’ve tried
You’ve got to work on this
And we are on your side

My magic wand is broken
Heaven knows I have tried
To save me repeating myself

My magic wand is broken
I don’t know where it’s at
From everything you’ve told me
You should have got a cat.

My magic wand is broken
I can’t help my friend
She listens to those that tell her
Obedience is the key

She keeps her dog on a halti
With extendible lead attached
He leapt towards the cyclist
And yelped when it held him back

I gave her your book details
I hope she reads and rewards
All the lovely things her dog does
And her ‘trainer’ gets the boot

My Magic Wand is broken
I don’t know what to do
My dogs are misbehaving
I’m stressed and anxious too

An FB group is recommended
Full of force-free help and advice
But before panic posting
Read all the topics once or twice

Then your training will be better
As your problems you understand
Follow DTAS
For the very best help in the land

My magic wand is broken
The fairy dust has flown
So to change your dog’s behaviour
You’ll need to change your own

My magic wand is broken
And I haven’t got a clue
What the hell is going on here
Magic wand, what are you?

My magic wand is broken
No spells to make him sit
No words to make him listen
Or make him fetch a stick

For dog training is not magic
It’s much more than it seems
It’s a journey of discovery
For both my dog and for me

And with time and dedication
Our bond will always be
So though my wand is broken
I’ll never give up hope

For with love and DTAS guides
My dog will learn to cope

My magic wand is broken
I’m afraid it snapped in two
But have you ever wondered
If the problem might be you?

My magic wand is broken
Instead I’ll have to plead
Control your pet around livestock
Clip on that bleeping lead

My magic wand has disappeared
It upped and flew away
So now instead of magic tricks
You’ll have to train through play

My magic wand is broken
The dog chewed it

We have a dog who likes to bark
Especially when excited
He barks at things that move
So the villagers aren’t delighted

He’ll greet all dogs and people
With woofs and lunging too
We don’t need a magic wand
Just training in ‘how do you do’!

My magic wand is broken
When there’s a cat in sight
She loses it completely
I’m sure it’s out of fright

My magic wand is broken
There’s a squirrel on the fence
She’ll bark her head off loudly
And stand still looking tense

My magic wand is broken
But not when there’s a treat
She’ll come right into “middle”
And stand upon my feet!

My magic wand is broken
You used all my spells but this one
Please don’t kiss your dog
Cos he isn’t a frog
Not his fault if you’re bitten

My magic wand is broken
Some people don’t understand
They ask “is that dog trained?”
When things don’t go to plan

I tell them he has anxiety and pain
He’s not untrained or bad
He needs more time and patience
Not a firm hand

You see, he’s a beautiful boy
Thoughtful, clever and kind
We have to work harder
To help him ease his mind

We try to find the quiet places
With no people or dogs around
Even with consistent training
It’s proven to be a challenge

A safe space is rarely found
My magic wand is broken
But with education you could see
That he deserves his space to be